Related Posts with Thumbnails
The Book

Out now at Amazon | Waterstones

Middle Class Handbook on Twitter
Chattering Class

Prince Harry

Even republicans approve, surely?

Microwaving tea

Recommended by scientists, apparently. Disgusting

No televised election debates

Disappointing; we were rather looking forward to May vs The Sturge

Broadchurch

Olivia Coleman = nailed-on Future National Treasure

Spring Bank holidays

Too close together! Very bad!

Bin-mageddon

“I queued for THREE BLOODY HOURS at B&Q for a new recycling bin! The entire town’s in CHAOS”

S-Town

To be listened to whole on a long journey for maximum effect

Using a proper paper map

Strangely satisfying

The “Flash” Flash ad

It’s back! Possibly the best ever singing dog in an advert ever

Crap tacos

Reheated, with too much chilli: middle-class kebabs, basically

Latest Comments
The Periodic Table of the Middle Class
This form does not yet contain any fields.
    Saturday
    Jun132009

    Fake muesli

    As I type we are eating breakfast while watching Peppa Pig (seagulls again, see below), and my dear wife has just admitted that yesterday in a moment of weakness she purchased some Jordans raspberry-flavoured Country Crisp cereal. She was now eating it. "I bet it's full of sugar," she sighed. "It's not muesli at all really, is it?"
    "Not really, dear," I agreed, sighing to show that I was on her side.
    "But it's so nice."
    "Oh, absolutely."
    "If only there was something between this and Dorset muesli."
    "That'd be great."
    We sighed together. The museli quest continues.

    Wednesday
    Jun102009

    Michelle Obama's fish and chips

    In the frenzied reports of Michelle Obama taking her children to eat in the Audley pub in Mayfair, much has been made of the children's choice of fish and chips. As usual when fish and chips are written about journalists, the implication is that fish and chips are the food of The People etc etc - but are they? In many places in England and Wales, particularly ones where people are not all that well-to-do, kebab, pizza, burger, Indian and Chinese takeaways are far more numerous than fish and chips shops, and I can't remember the last time I saw someone under the age of 25 eating them "the national dish" on the street. Could it be that although fish and chips have strong associations with working class, salt and malt vinegar of the earth types, for the under-50s they are in fact becoming a middle-class dish, sustained by the renewed interest among certain middle class tribes in local food? 

    Of course the wonderful Michelle, being wonderful and smart, or maybe it was just because she is American, knew the real 2000s treat of the people - the competitively-price pub steak and chips. 

    Wednesday
    Jun102009

    An Over-affectionate Gym nazi

    A strange thing happened at the gym tonight. There I was risking long-term muscle damage on one of the weight machines when the Gym Nazi, ie the bloke who did my induction last week, walked past and rested his hand on my shoulder blade and said, "Hey, how you finding it?" He used a solicitous, affectionate tone as if I was his nephew or something - as he is about ten or fifteen years younger than me, this seemed a bit odd. I think his manner involved some of that one-of-us stuff obsessives develop when they make a convert, but he's being a bit premature in this case. 

    My wife just said he was probably gay. She seemed to find the idea quite funny. I didn't.

     

    Tuesday
    Jun092009

    Bitters: slowly drowning in a sea of technology and unable to shout for help

    A friend who works in marketing has e-mailed me identifying a new tribe which he claims is huge - and yet but ignored because of its embarrassed silence. He calls them the Bitters, after Twitter - a site they particularly hate. Bitters basically feel drowned by the technology everywhere, and yet are niggled by the idea that they ought to be trying to keep up. They were always crap with technology, they loathe any type of user manual, and feel a peculiar mix of resentment, jealousy and hatred when they see people such as the work experience kid clutching their copy of Wired and doing something futuristic on their iPhone. Secretly, even though half of them do media jobs where it is alas, quite essential the Bitters wish it would just all go away. However, they do have urges to catch up and get on top of it, which is why they bought an iPod and then didn't get round to actually loading it with songs because they could not face the inevitable disappointment of it going wrong. When  I put this particular point to my friend, he confessed "er, in fact I have 2 i-Pods - I even updated the one I hadn't opened." He also admitted that at least once every day, like all Bitters, he mentally tots up how much he could make selling all his junk on ebay - and then feels tortured because to do so would mean "A, you have to work out how you do it, and B try and remember which password I used/created when I last tried engaging with ebay. I think this is why people are quite happy to see the return of pawn brokers." 

     

    Monday
    Jun082009

    A NIGEL FOR NOW!

    I don't know much about UKIP, but they gave us the big winner last night: ladies and gentleman - though not Madames et Monsieurs - Nigel Farage! He just seemed somehow like a man whose time had come, strangely like a Noughties version of Norman Tebbit - same right-for now, sod-them-all, street-fighting instinct,  but with a warm, approachable style. Whatever your political persuasion, you could imagine having a decent enough half and hour with him over tea and cakes (maybe not French-style cakes though). Nigel looks potentially like a new spin on an old kind of Tory face for the 2010s to me. And he has a near-perfect name; could there new Nigel class for next decade? We'll have to have a think.