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Prince Harry

Even republicans approve, surely?

Microwaving tea

Recommended by scientists, apparently. Disgusting

No televised election debates

Disappointing; we were rather looking forward to May vs The Sturge

Broadchurch

Olivia Coleman = nailed-on Future National Treasure

Spring Bank holidays

Too close together! Very bad!

Bin-mageddon

“I queued for THREE BLOODY HOURS at B&Q for a new recycling bin! The entire town’s in CHAOS”

S-Town

To be listened to whole on a long journey for maximum effect

Using a proper paper map

Strangely satisfying

The “Flash” Flash ad

It’s back! Possibly the best ever singing dog in an advert ever

Crap tacos

Reheated, with too much chilli: middle-class kebabs, basically

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    Friday
    Aug102012

    The Trouble With Budget-Hotel Bottle Openers, And What Could Be Done To Improve Them 

    When attending a social function that I didn’t really want to go to, in a city too far away to drive back home from late at night, I was feeling a bit resentful about the amount of money the whole event seemed to be costing so I opted for a budget hotel chain. I’m not a hotel snob and after all, it was only for one night and it wasn’t as if I was going to spend the evening sitting in the room.

    I know you get what you pay for and all that. I wasn’t expecting a Godiva truffle on my pillow or complimentary Jo Malone toiletries in the bathroom, but I couldn’t help feeling that I was entering into middle class hell rather than middle class heaven when I noticed that screwed to the side of the desk/dressing table unit (what do you call that piece of hotel furniture?) was an ugly lump of metal emblazoned in red lettering instructing me to ‘open bottle here’. Due to its crude design, every time I looked at it I was reminded of those bits of metal for stubbing out cigarettes that used to be found on the back of bus seats, and I couldn’t help finding it a bit distasteful. It made me wish I hadn’t opted for a hotel that’s sole purpose was to house city centre binge drinkers.

    However, after a particularly dreary evening at the aforementioned social event, I began to change my views. The company was uninspiring, the buffet was like an Iceland party promotion and to top it all the bar had closed early. Returning to my room for the night, I could have murdered another drink and suddenly the bottle opener was a welcome sight or at least it would have been if it didn’t make me think of pissed young blokes drinking WKD or whatever it is they consume these days. Perhaps though it could be made more appealing to the middle classes if it had a corkscrew feature with ‘uncork your pinot noir here’, preferably written in a nice Helvetica font. As we know, these little things matter.

    Flickr: timdifford

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