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    « What to do about the Prom Problem | Main | In Praise Of The Peas: Five Reasons Why It's Time To Stop Giving The Black Eyed Peas A Hard Time »
    Wednesday
    May182011

    Fellas and umbrellas; why do middle-class men carry such enormous brollies?

    Flickr: U.S. Army
    I was walking down the street in my home city today when what appeared to be our first summer shower began. A few minutes later as I hurried along I came across two men, senior estate agents I’d guess from the look of them, having a chat on the pavement. No big deal, you might think, except that I was completely unable to get past them, and rather than have to ask, I actually stepped into the road. 
     
    And what obstructed me, you might ask? It was in fact their huge brollies; each one had up a huge golf umbrella, and as the men were standing opposite each other, these two ludicrous items made a sort of canopy across the street. I have to say I found this annoying, and it’s not the first time I’ve felt forced off the kerb by one of these 4x4s of a fashion accessory. I don’t really understand why middle-class men (and it is only middle-class men, it’s probably one of the clearest markers) insist on them; does a big umbrella have status like a big watch? Or is it that having an umbrella at all seems a bit effeminate, so you have to overcompensate by having something too heavy for any woman to lift? Or could it be a chance to demonstrate what brands you’re into, by making sure your umbrella has what you mistakenly assume to be a cool promotional logo on its panels?
     
    The two estate agents (theirs seemed to be promo items from an insurance company, by the way. Cool.) were like the umbrella-wielding cuckoos of late Spring, signs of what was to come every time there is a summer shower. When I am Prime Minister, I will ban them; until then I will dream of living somewhere dryer. 

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    Reader Comments (1)

    Big umbrellas by whoever is sponsoring the Cricket or the Rugby are the ones to have. Alternatively, any of the British based F1 teams, Landrover, Aston Martin, Moet, Rolex, Breitling or similar. You can go pretty much anywhere with any of them. Just think - would Richard Branson carry it? If yes then OK (with the exception of Virgin itself, naturally).

    They are a bloody nuisance though.

    May 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteroffice pest

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