Related Posts with Thumbnails
The Book

Out now at Amazon | Waterstones

Middle Class Handbook on Twitter
Chattering Class

Prince Harry

Even republicans approve, surely?

Microwaving tea

Recommended by scientists, apparently. Disgusting

No televised election debates

Disappointing; we were rather looking forward to May vs The Sturge

Broadchurch

Olivia Coleman = nailed-on Future National Treasure

Spring Bank holidays

Too close together! Very bad!

Bin-mageddon

“I queued for THREE BLOODY HOURS at B&Q for a new recycling bin! The entire town’s in CHAOS”

S-Town

To be listened to whole on a long journey for maximum effect

Using a proper paper map

Strangely satisfying

The “Flash” Flash ad

It’s back! Possibly the best ever singing dog in an advert ever

Crap tacos

Reheated, with too much chilli: middle-class kebabs, basically

Latest Comments
The Periodic Table of the Middle Class
This form does not yet contain any fields.
    « Chattering class | Main | WHAT’S THE PROBLEM WITH REBECCA BLACK? »
    Friday
    Apr082011

    What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring

    As the temperature finally begins to rise and we see the first signs of Spring, the change of season seems to cause a great deal of confusion about how to dress each morning.

    The other day I set off for a trip into town bright and early when there was still a bite to the wind and the sun was well hidden by a thick layer of cloud. I was dressed accordingly in my jeans, ankle boots and warm jacket, but how I wished I’d caught a later train, or checked the Met weather website like a sensible middle-class girl, before I set off! By lunchtime the sun was out, the temperature had risen, and I was surrounded by a laid-back crowd decked out in their Spring attire. Among this crowd were many people who seemed to think that the combination of a flash of sun peeping from behind a cloud and a morning when you didn’t need to use your de-icer, required the removal of almost all items of clothing while ensuring that any items that do remain are white and/or made from linen.

    As I sweltered among this more wafty crowd, it struck me that there was a correlation between the amount of clothing that you choose to remove and the earliest date you consider applying fake tan, and your social class. The higher you rank socially, the less flesh you will choose to expose; the underclass chap will strip down to his shorts as soon as the snow clears, while as the temperature rises the upper classes merely exchange one type of luxury fabric for another, lighter-weight luxury fabric.

    And what of those inbetween? Well, why not read this quick handy guide, and see how many of our Springtime middle-class tribes you can spot?

    Chaveau Riches

    He will put his shorts on at the first opportunity, in order to show off the tattoos on his leg; at the same time, she dons her sandals to show off the tattoo on her foot.

    No Sugar Babe

    She will drive the change to summerwear, encouraging her White Vain Man hubby to wear his shorts so that she doesn’t “look too summery” in her flowery maxi dress or white linen trousers (with visible thong beneath).

    The Hornby Set

    He swaps his black jacket for a slightly shorter black jacket, she’ll wear summer clothes, but in layers. Lots and lots of lots of layers.

    Damn-wrights

    He will swap his stonewash jeans for a pair of even lighter stonewash jeans. She will swap her coat for a heavy-knit waterfall cardigan.

    The Fair-to-Middlings

    Won’t remove any layers. She will swap her woollen scarf for a silk one and he will swap his cashmere sweater for a cotton one. Alternatively they both swap their over coats for macs

    Jamie Oliver’s Army

    He will also put on shorts at first opportunity but will team them up with sporty Merril trainers and a North Face kagoul in case of a chill. She’ll play it safe and be one of the last at work to shed her tights - while stocking up on cardies that are “a bit different” to distract from her conservatism.

     

    References (30)

    References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
    • Response
      Response: self tanning
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      NFL is truly 1 of the most significant sports in America. It has a significant following.
    • Response
      モンクレールダウンメンズが8割引!モンクレール ダウン メンズ 2014 モンクレールメンズ最安値更新中!モンクレールダウンアウトレット種類豊富!満足保障のモンクレールダウンメンズ店,The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring!
    • Response
      Response: advice here
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: Pro Power Cleanse
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: velour Reviews
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: BB Cream Reviews
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: alleure Review
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: super ketone
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: Clean trim
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: Diet ultima
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: Pure Green Coffee
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: Hydrellatone
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: Hydrellatone
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: bluetooth earbuds
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: facebook.com
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring
    • Response
      Response: Gc180xt
      The Middle Class Handbook - Blog (Home) - What social class you reveal by the amount of clothing you remove at the first signs of spring

    Reader Comments

    There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

    PostPost a New Comment

    Enter your information below to add a new comment.

    My response is on my own website »
    Author Email (optional):
    Author URL (optional):
    Post:
     
    Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>