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The Book

Out now at Amazon | Waterstones

Middle Class Handbook on Twitter
Chattering Class

Prince Harry

Even republicans approve, surely?

Microwaving tea

Recommended by scientists, apparently. Disgusting

No televised election debates

Disappointing; we were rather looking forward to May vs The Sturge


Olivia Coleman = nailed-on Future National Treasure

Spring Bank holidays

Too close together! Very bad!


“I queued for THREE BLOODY HOURS at B&Q for a new recycling bin! The entire town’s in CHAOS”


To be listened to whole on a long journey for maximum effect

Using a proper paper map

Strangely satisfying

The “Flash” Flash ad

It’s back! Possibly the best ever singing dog in an advert ever

Crap tacos

Reheated, with too much chilli: middle-class kebabs, basically

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The Periodic Table of the Middle Class
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    Bitters - A work in progress


    Bitters were suggested in a blog entry in June 2009. This page collects the notes about them from that entry, and from other subsequent sources.

    They are named after Twitter - a site they particularly hate. Bitters basically feel drowned by the technology everywhere, and yet are niggled by the idea that they ought to be trying to keep up. They were always crap with technology, they loathe any type of user manual, and feel a peculiar mix of resentment, jealousy and hatred when they see see people such as the work experience kid clutching their copy of Wired and doing something futuristic on their iPhone.

    Secretly, even though half of them do media jobs where it is quite essential the Bitters wish it would just all go away. However, they do have urges to catch up and get on top of it, which is why they bought an iPod and then didn't get round to actually loading it with songs because they could not face the inevitable disappointment of it going wrong. They will have signed up to various websites, only to log on once then never return because they forgot their password and log in.

    Not necessarily over 30 - there is marked tendency among the under-30s to opt out of the tech rush on the grounds that face to face contact can be just as rewarding as Facebook.